“So do you love me now
Or did I let you down”
These lyrics from Forbidden Road hit me hard. After seeing Robbie Williams’ Netflix documentary, his exhibition Pride and Self-prejudice in Moco Amsterdam and the Better Man biopic I love him even more than I ever did. His music has always been there for me, whenever I struggled. But learning what it cost him, broke my heart.
It all started with the documentary. I’ve been a Thatter since the nineties and must admit that I’ve always been a Mark girl. But even after Robbie left the band in 1995, for me he was always still part of “my” boyband. Mark and Robbie are the two youngest and it was always clear that those two had a special bond. While watching the documentary, I had so many “WTF” and “no way” moments. There was so much that I didn’t know about Take That.
As a fangirl in the nineties you only saw the good stuff. The good looking boys that were having fun all the time, touring around the globe, conquering the world. No girlfriends; not because they didn’t want to but because they weren’t allowed to. They all had a clear ‘job description’; the pretty one (Mark), the funny one (Rob), the dancers (Howard and Jay) and the songwriter (Gary). If you nowadays form a team of people who don’t know each other and are obliged to do what the manager tells them to do and nothing else, it is bound to fail. These boys made it a success, but at what cost…
In an interview with Dutch TV host Eva Jinek in 2022, Rob talks openly about his addictions and mental health struggles. Explaining that he would have become an addict anyway, but as a boyband member only had the means and access to it already at an early age. It saddened me to learn that he never felt good enough, that he constantly had to fight the demons in his head that kept telling him that. And I think it is amazingly brave to finally share this with the world.
He’s a Better Man now
When I went to see the Better Man biopic, I didn’t know what to expect. Rob as a monkey… I was curious and wanted to see this movie no matter what. But my husband, and most of my friends were sceptical. “It’s gonna be weird, nah I’m not into it.” So my Concert Sister – the one who speaks fangirl – and I went together. We were excited and all “whoohoo”. I felt the same nerves that I feel right before a concert starts. The cinema was getting more and more crowded by the minute. I had never seen it so full, that I even wondered if we were in the right place. The moment the lights went off, I wanted to clap and shout “whoohoo” but then remembered just in time that I was in a cinema and not at a concert.
As soon as the movie started, little Robbie stole my heart. All I wanted was to cuddle him. The monkey didn’t bother me for a second. It was just Rob. Well, an actor of course, and a bloody good one: Jonno Davies. Also the guys that played the other Take That members were so well cast. I was totally in my fangirl bubble and silently singing along with all the songs.
I’m not gonna share any spoilers, but I think the fact that I definitely want to see this movie again (and again, and again) says enough. My Concert Sister, who is not a Thatter at all, gave the best review: “Now I wanna go to his concert!”
Mental health is not a joke, but humour can be a coping mechanism and a way to create more understanding. When you break your ankle (been there, done that), everyone can see that you’re hurt. But no one knows what is going on inside your head. You can smile on the outside, but feel broken on the inside. I know how being creative can contribute to your healing process. After all, that’s how I became a blogger when I was on the verge of a burn out.
It’s wonderful that a celebrity like Robbie Williams can help to make this less of a taboo. Some of his pieces of art were so relatable to me, and I think to many others. But if we don’t speak out about this, it all stays under the radar (see what I did there, pun intended ;-)). Remember that you are not alone. Ask for help if you need it and accept it, when it is offered. Remember that small steps are also good, as long as they are forward. Buy the concert tickets first, figure out how to get there later.
But also remember that celebrities are human beings with feelings, just like me and you. They bring you joy and happy moments. And they probably enjoy doing that. But you don’t own them. And they don’t owe you anything. Chasing them, in any way, is not “the price of fame”. Whoohoo with respect. Respect to the artist, their family and their privacy.
